Was talking with my sister on the phone, and I asked her if she noticed that my wife had her married last name on FB to her maiden name. My sister said yes, and told me that my wife had blocked access to her wall. I checked and I couldn't either.
So what's the deal? Note that my wife is not de-friending us, but blocking view of her wall. I wonder if she's so paranoid of my supposed spying and invasion of her privacy that she decided to pull this stunt.
Yes. I agree is she's blocking me out, but locking out my family, half of whom live half way around the world in Asia? I've asked church friends of ours if she's done the same to them, and will update y'all on that. I'll not wanting to jump high because of this, but I'm venting over another erratic behavior of hers. Actually she did things similar to this when she broke up with her parents, but that's another story.
Hmmmmm...so I think your W is asking for space and you are not giving it to her. And if you don't give it to her she is going to take it. You really have to stop all of this. Who cares what is going on, on FB. She probably feels like she can't breathe and you are smothering her. If you want your W back you need to back off. Only discuss things that concern your son.
Sorry this is a little blunt, but you are nevr going to make it through this week end if you keep this up. You are going to drive yourself crazy. Please for your own sanity, stop this destructive behavior.
Me:35, 2 kids from PR H: 37, 2 kids with me T: 15 years M: 8 years in Feb. Second walk out: 14-01-2011 H had PA: 2007
Hey alamo, I agree, you do need to back off. I recommend getting off FB altogether.
As for your question to me, no, no real changes yet in my sitch. We are both still nice and pleasant to each other. Neither one of us brings up any R, M or D talk. I try not to over analyze it, but I inevitably do. On one had, I would like to see any type of emotion from her, even anger. On the other hand, maybe it is a good sign she still "likes" me. IDK. I guess, one of our problems was I had my faults and she never/rarely confronted me on them. She has always been the type to bottle up her emotions, I am guessing that is what she is doing now.
Keep hanging in there, try to back off, and just let things develop for a while.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
Was talking with my sister on the phone, and I asked her if she noticed that my wife had her married last name on FB to her maiden name. My sister said yes, and told me that my wife had blocked access to her wall. I checked and I couldn't either.
So what's the deal? Note that my wife is not de-friending us, but blocking view of her wall. I wonder if she's so paranoid of my supposed spying and invasion of her privacy that she decided to pull this stunt.
Don't sweat it Alamo. My STXH did the same thing to me a few times after the seperation. He even blocked some of my friends who could care less. I find the behavior quite funny in the sense of how immature it is. He goes thru stages, blocks me, unblocks me. FB does s**k sometimes. I feel our WAS's use it for a billboard. I have more respect than that and I use it as a window. My status is not listed on there, I've never blocked him, there are pics of us still on there. Just remember they THINK they are happy when they truly aren't. Appearances can be deceiving.
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
Hmmmmm...so I think your W is asking for space and you are not giving it to her. And if you don't give it to her she is going to take it. You really have to stop all of this. Who cares what is going on, on FB. She probably feels like she can't breathe and you are smothering her. If you want your W back you need to back off. Only discuss things that concern your son.
Sorry this is a little blunt, but you are nevr going to make it through this week end if you keep this up. You are going to drive yourself crazy. Please for your own sanity, stop this destructive behavior.
I agree with backing off, but at what expense? Allowing her to be all secretive and take my son somewhere undisclosed (she only told me the town they're moving to)? If she has a beef with me, why does she take it out on our close church friends and family and allow her friends and family (on FB one has to specifically choose who you want blocked, so that act was deliberated and planned, not random)? And she expects me to lie on my back and take it because she thinks I don't have a backbone, that I won't draw the divorce card because she knows I want to save this marriage, because even if I do draw the first card, she will hang it over my head forever and badmouth me to my son. She still goes around telling people that I'm a hopeless porn addict, who is also a compulsive liar and a wife beater. I feel like she's playing me even though I try my best to be sincere, upfront and transparent with her. Maybe that's not what she wants from me right now...I don't know.
Was talking with my sister on the phone, and I asked her if she noticed that my wife had her married last name on FB to her maiden name. My sister said yes, and told me that my wife had blocked access to her wall. I checked and I couldn't either.
So what's the deal? Note that my wife is not de-friending us, but blocking view of her wall. I wonder if she's so paranoid of my supposed spying and invasion of her privacy that she decided to pull this stunt.
Hi Zen, glad you could drop by! Hope you're doing better today.
I agree with you, Country Song and Wanda about backing off. I know I sound like I'm loosinig my grip and going crazy...well, maybe I am sometimes, but mostly I'd like to say I'm grounded in God and DB/DRing to know better. To be honest, letting my wife do what she needs to do thus far would've been really easy me for if we didn't have a child caught in the middle of this craziness. I begin overanalyzing, over-worrying, etc. Both the Good Book and Michelle's program speak very clearly about how to be patient and be loving/gracious etc, but they never really said anything specific about how to handle the situation with those same qualities in mind when there's a third, fourth, or even fifth person in that triangle. So when my wife tries to use him as ammo against me (real or assumed), how can I not want to get personal, you know what I mean? Yes, it is a button she's learned how to press, but this ain't no emotional guilt or scar or whatnot, but a living breathing vulnerable flesh and blood of ours.
Don't sweat it Alamo. My STXH did the same thing to me a few times after the seperation. He even blocked some of my friends who could care less. I find the behavior quite funny in the sense of how immature it is. He goes thru stages, blocks me, unblocks me. FB does s**k sometimes. I feel our WAS's use it for a billboard. I have more respect than that and I use it as a window. My status is not listed on there, I've never blocked him, there are pics of us still on there. Just remember they THINK they are happy when they truly aren't. Appearances can be deceiving.
Sorry about the previous post, I placed my reply within the quote. Here's my reply again:
Hi Zen, glad you could drop by! Hope you're doing better today.
I agree with you, Country Song and Wanda about backing off. I know I sound like I'm loosinig my grip and going crazy...well, maybe I am sometimes, but mostly I'd like to say I'm grounded in God and DB/DRing to know better. To be honest, letting my wife do what she needs to do thus far would've been really easy me for if we didn't have a child caught in the middle of this craziness. I begin overanalyzing, over-worrying, etc. Both the Good Book and Michelle's program speak very clearly about how to be patient and be loving/gracious etc, but they never really said anything specific about how to handle the situation with those same qualities in mind when there's a third, fourth, or even fifth person in that triangle. So when my wife tries to use him as ammo against me (real or assumed), how can I not want to get personal, you know what I mean? Yes, it is a button she's learned how to press, but this ain't no emotional guilt or scar or whatnot, but a living breathing vulnerable flesh and blood of ours.
