Dixie, FOBD here. Listen to 2step, he is right. He is just checking to see if you are still there. I get the feeling he is making plans with you to see if he can, but might not have any intention of going through with them. He just wants to know that he still has that control. The first sign that will be real and positive is when he makes those plans and goes through with them. Until he does, I think you need to be less available. Remember, if you let him make the plans and then be the one to actually show up, you will know that he wants to be there. Next time, don't be so accommodating and watch what happens.
Good to hear from you, girl!
BITS never walk alone!
FOBD
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
I don't know what to think...It H playing games? But, it feels like he is just playing games with me. He
Playing games Dixie? YES!
This is a game of control for him... it has been for quite some time...
You have just recently started to play, but he has been doing it for years...
He felt you push back... his move? Schedule dinner, cancel, tell you that he misses you...
Now it's your move Dixie.
I know that this [censored], and I hate to be so blunt about it, but this is a game that we are all playing here with our spouses...
Our marriage is the stakes.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
So, now that I am clearly playing a game of chess.......
It's hard to think that this was someone that I once thought was so caring and thoughtful. Just when I think it doesnt hurt anymore or I can handle it...BAAM...I'm reduce to tears. The plus is...I'm bouncing back easier and I don't get so angry and resentful.
So, his B-Day is this Saturday....
Should I just ignore it? I was going to send a text that simply said, "Happy B-Day". But, now I don't know....it is my move right?
Okay, boys...I need your input here?
Clearly I need to reach out to my DBing Coach too~
BITS
Dixie
Me: 40 H: 39 M: 17 yrs - Together 18 1/2yrs No kids Seperated: May 18, 2006 EA/Poss PA with OW for 6 months prior to leaving. 2nd Bomb dropped: Dec. 23, 2010
So, now that I am clearly playing a game of chess.......
It's hard to think that this was someone that I once thought was so caring and thoughtful. Just when I think it doesnt hurt anymore or I can handle it...BAAM...I'm reduce to tears. The plus is...I'm bouncing back easier and I don't get so angry and resentful.
So, his B-Day is this Saturday....
Should I just ignore it? I was going to send a text that simply said, "Happy B-Day". But, now I don't know....it is my move right?
Okay, boys...I need your input here?
Clearly I need to reach out to my DBing Coach too~
BITS
Dixie
Ignore it on Saturday... send him a 'belated' happy birthday text on Sunday.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Dixie, I'd sent a text to him on Saturday. I'm not sure about Sunday, because if my H did that to me, it really would hurt. We are not out to hurt here, just detach. Meaning, I don't think you should get him a gift or anything. I do think, however, that you should acknowledge him. JMHO...
DG, just checking in to say hey! Miss you and hope you are doing ok.
Peace and Hugs - ZEN
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
i agree with lis a simple text on saturday i hate that he did that to you what an @$$ sorry, but that was not a nice move BUT it proves that he is interested you are a wonderful, beautiful woman you should be treated as such
Sorry to disagree with my BITS, but I would send the text on Saturday. Don't call and don't answer if he calls after the text. But, do send it on Saturday, make it simple, possibly just three for four words, and then put the phone in the kitchen drawer for the rest of the evening. LIS is right. Don't ignore the day, but don't make it special for him either. Let him stew in those juices he has cooked up for himself...
BITS never walk alone!
FOBD
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
