I haven't had a chance to read this entire thread, (I will) but taking from your latest post, I hear a lot of simularities to what I went through during my own recovery process.
Let me just boil down a few points now until I can catch up on your situation.
Although I am an advocate of staying-in-touch with, and expressing one's emotions, I must caution you against sharing or exposing them with your H - at this time.
Secondly, beware of asking him questions that even vaguely resemble 'probing'.
I know that it is terribly difficult to function gracefully with all the fatigue, illness, stress and fear that you are living with, but the more calm and confident you appear to him - the better for you.
He is struggling with his own demons, so he needs to feel your strength more than ever right now.
