Lis, I just ignored H when he talked about leaving today. I just gave him "the look". About the appointment, I usually don't let him know, although when he does he asks me if they do help. He wanted me to make one today though. Honestly, he does seem very concerned that I am falling apart, he knows its all his fault as he does blame himself and beat himself up about it as well. But as everyone knows, guilt is not a good reason for him to stay in the M. One of the things though is that culturally and with the type of religious upbringing we have, guilt does play an important role.
Thank you grr for the encouragement and validation, I needed that as much as I give validation to H.
Next, good to know that meds might help me get a grip and be a better person. Being in the medical field, I know a lot about side effects, so I tend to be negative (most of us are) about medication. I will give it a try and have made an appointment with a pyschiatrist.
So H has called 2x already today to inquire about D12's and my wellbeing. His voice during the first was strained, and when I told him not to worry, he said in a strangled tone "I am already so worried". The second call his voice was almost gentle and soothing .... more like the old H again.
Maybe this does have some effect after all.
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
