This process IS about M after all, so I do not think that having goals based on certain things I would like to see from my W as inappropriate.
I am not saying it is inappropriate.
I am saying you may be setting yourself up for disapointment if you are expecting your W to react or act the way you would like her to.
That is attaching yourself to her.
Originally Posted By: Country_Song
The way I see DB'ing is you understand you only control your own actions, but you also realize how those actions affect others. We look back and see how our negative actions affected our M's, DB'ing is about replacing those actions with positives to move it in the other direction.
Yes you should look back and own the things you feel you should change.
Changes that align with who you want to be.
Any other changes...like those you make to get the M back at all costs will not have longevity.
Not saying you are in danger of doing that Country BUT
If you focus too much on your W you will miss the big picture
There is a time for the two of you to take a hard look at the M and how you both contributed...
to its demise.
We chase that which runs away from us.
What does it look like when YOU are willing to risk YOURSELF in a new R with your W?
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
