Our Greatest Failure lies in giving UP

[MichelleLT]

Hey 2step. Getting caught up on your threads.

The no R/M talk convos were great! LOVE THEM!

You already know what I'd say about you asking to visit lol.

As for validating her, absolutely! Do lots of it! Try not to bait the R/M talk, but definitely listen and validate.

My point with her not taking responsibility is not that you have to somehow make her see how she contributed, but that you need to KNOW in your heart that it is not 100% your fault. Don't absorb everything she is saying as the ultimate truth. She is speaking from a place of hurt and misery and everything is tainted by that.

And love your marathon comment. You are definitely in this for the long haul and making SO MUCH progress!!!!

[zengypsy]

Also I went ahead and asked for the trip. Even though my DB coach said it might not be the right time. I love paying a lot of money for a professional to give me advice just so that I can ignore it!! It's great!

YOU just hit yourself with a 2X4!

[2stepboogie]

Lis:

A day without u is like a day without sunshine!!

Since we spoke about why men do certain things and act a certain way I read an article that I wanted to share with you Dixie and hope.

If u go to the dB fb page there is an article about 12 steps to talk to your men. You gals should read it.

Make sure you hit the like button, grr said the more people like it the more Si
Similar articles the post.

Let me know when youve read it and what u think

[lostinscared]

Awwww... If I win Powerball tomorrow, I'll kick you a couple of bucks for that!!!

I read the article. Man, I've read almost everything on there! What an awesome resource!!! I didn't know about hitting the like button. However, it is unlikely that I'll do that. Not many people know what is going on between H and I. I've kept that group as small as possible. And unless I'm mistaken, if I hit "like" then that shows up on my wall. Is that right?

LIS

[grr]

yes but you could remove it right away from your wall

[MichelleLT]

LIS - It does by default. But it's pretty small. And you may be able to change that in your privacy settings. Not sure though.

A lot of the stuff she is posting on the FB page are old articles that she is pulling from the blog on this website. And of course, all the basic principles are from the DB and DR books. Sometimes seeing it in a bit more detail or having a cool picture just helps it sink in though.

[grr]

all you have to do is put your mouse to the right of it
you will see an x and then you can delete the post on your wall
i think the more that like stuff on that page
the more they will put up

[2stepboogie]

Hey Michelle

I was wondering when you were going to come around. Taking everything she said as scripture at first was a big problem for me, it would put me in a bad place now I let some fault deflect. I have to.

Today is day 3 no contact seems odd for my sitch but I will take the good with the bad.

Phew! I thought u were going to rip my a$$ for asking about the trip. After I got the answer I knew I would get I was thinking "nice job deuche" but two things happened I thought where important. 1. I reinforced that I was here for her and she acknowledged it 2. She did not say I don't want to see you, she said I'm not ready yet.

I think that is a positive more than a negative.

Zen:

I'm good at giving out the 2x4's but I'm equally good at bashing my own head. It feels so much better when I hand them though

[2stepboogie]

Grr is correct

[2stepboogie]

I had the same concern Lis but was able to delete it on my wall right away