Better days are coming for ALL of us. II

[angel61]

I know what you mean. It hurts to think that our H don't care after all the time together. I sometimes wonder if I get a terminal illness and die will H ever cry..... I even think that maybe the panic attacks, etc. happen to me as a way to get H attention and to see that he cares.

LIS, maybe you are right. Just like we can't mind read so can't our H's. Perhaps it is better to at least try to explain. I did a little but I made sure it was something that he realizes is not forever. But I think in his mind, H already imagined that everything would not be as bad as he is seeing it is, and now he is realizing what kind of destruction his actions have caused. I tried to hide it initially, not even telling him about the problems I got at work from losing my productivity, but of course he had to know sooner or later. I guess I am still trying to protect him, or else worse, I am trying to appear stronger than I am for some ulterior motive (I am not sure what, I have tried to analyze myself so much that I get confused too).

I have been posting now for some time and what I see is that it is like we are on the ocean - there are different types of waves, and sometimes a group of us are up, then its another, then another.....

We all try to get off our spouses coaster but honestly, we only do it maybe 40% of the time.

Got to be honest with ourselves, course correct, and just take one step at a time.