Lost, hurt and scared ...

[MeMyselfandI]

Thank you seeking. So, had a good discussion with D on Sunday night. She started the conversation by telling me that H told her he was dating OW but told her not to tell me. She said, Mommy, I want to be honest with you and I know you already know anyway but Daddy told me not to tell you.

This provided me an opportunity to be honest with her as well so I told her that I didn't want any secrets between us and she can tell me anything. I then said, while we are on that topic, I want to be honest with you as well and I was a little hurt that you invited OW to your b-day party because I really would have liked to be there. I did say, it was ok and I wasn’t upset with her but it just hurt a little.

Well, she said “I didn’t invite her. Daddy asked and said only if it was ok with me and then he said, ‘after all she has done for you this week and all the things she bought you for your birthday, but it’s totally up to you’.” She said, “I just didn’t want to hurt her feelings.”

I felt so bad for her so I told her it was totally ok and I was not hurt anymore and I reiterated that we really need to be open and honest about all this stuff, particularly right now because I know it’s hard on all of us. I did not want to bad mouth H so I just said to her that this was hard on him too. I really want her to feel safe talking and opening up about these things.

S is also talking more and more and is really struggling but I’m there for him and letting him voice what he feels. He’s tried staying home from school the last couple of days saying he’s sick, (which he has also done in the past when he returns from his time at H’s place) but I have put my foot down on this as it’s not a habit I want him getting into. I just feel so bad for both of them right now.

I am seeing that H & OW are pushing really hard to develop this relationship between her and D but I’m happy to see that D can somewhat see through what is going on. It is unfortunate that H is acting like this as it is totally out of character for him but if this is the new, improved H, it makes it very easy to detach. If he came back today on his hands and knees begging to come back, I’d laugh in his face. He's got a long way to go!