Recovering after a same sex affair

[sparks14]

Thanks, firstlove. We are talking. In fact, we are actually very civil and act as friends would. We have had no arguments. No raised voices. Our focus is on our son, but I do feel sometimes that her desires to put co-parenting in front of our rebuilding as a couple are disheartening.

Our couples therapist has requested that we only talk about our relationship in the safety of her office for the time being. That is difficult when the wife wants to spend the first 15 minutes discussing the baby's schedule (which we have been proven can be done very well between us at home). That gives me just 45 minutes a week to really talk about us and our future. On top of that, the first few sessions have been more about strong reactions to the events of the past month. I would expect that, but I cannot wait for the time where we can REALLY communicate. All I want to do is actively listen to her and the things going through her mind. She is just not there yet. I remain patient.

I am sorry to hear that there simply is a large wall in front of your wife right now. Keep up the DBing and take note of the small victories. That is something that I have been paying attention to lately and has really helped me.