WAW leaving in June - Do I have time?

[Scared2Def]

Thanks, she is snoring away right now. Until the morning. Man I love my iPad in bed . LOL

[Scared2Def]

Good deal.

Sandi2,

Should I just stick to my guns? I am trying to figure out if anything should be said or justs tick to my June deadline and see what happens then.

The basics are,

she no longer trusts me and does not beleive that after 20 years I am truly changing. She thinks I am only changing to keep her. The truth is of course I want my marriage to continue but I also see that I need to change my ways because all I have done is hurt my wife for 20 years and my kids for 13 and 10 years.

I just spent the weekend with the kids and they do not seem to like the idea of living in seperate homes or states in our case.

Do I keep divorce busting and hope she comes around to seeing the new me and realization the kids can be in a happy home with both of us in the same home?

I know this is getting old but I just need re assurance.

Also, should I continue with marraige counseling? Our last meeting I said I wanted to stop going because it seemed it was all about "seperation" instead of working on marriage.

HELP

[sandi2]

What would be some examples of other techniques you would apply if you did not use DB?

[sandi2]

I think that MC has done more harm than good. He doesn't sound pro-marriage if he's talking about S. If it were me, I'd stop going to him and put that money on a DB Coach. Your W isn't going to listen to any counseling right now b/c she thinks "you" are the problem.

[Scared2Def]

I think that MC has done more harm than good. He doesn't sound pro-marriage if he's talking about S. If it were me, I'd stop going to him and put that money on a DB Coach. Your W isn't going to listen to any counseling right now b/c she thinks "you" are the problem.

You are correct. I am not sure what or how to do the DB coach thing. Being in Germany I think makes it hard to get any true counseling or even any advice because what the military offers is very limited.

I will continue with advice from here and keep working towards being a better person. I just cannot for the life of me understand her head. And things like facebook and twitter do nothing but constantly hurt and upset me.

I feel her best friend has pushed her to this point and by reading comments and statements posted by her do nothing but further fuel my fears and frustrations.

[Scared2Def]

Well I spoke with my counselor today and she basically told me to stop the self loathing, it is understandable but to find ways to get past the rough times.... I told her that coming on here was a nice outlet but that i have been walking more with my daughter and playing games with my son. Also working out a little more than normal.

She told me the storm is gong to get alot worse.. She compared it to a hurricane and that even when it seems calm, that is just the eye passing through. That was a great analogy for me to understand.

Anyway, she told me alot of what Sandi2 has said and that I need to just plug along, I can only control me. I agree but darnit.

[Scared2Def]

I just collapsed when looking at her and blurted out " I really want to kiss you"

[Scared2Def]

ARRGGGGG I SUCK AT THIS DB THING.........................

[MrBond]

What did she do/say when you did that?

[Scared2Def]

She said nothing and later in bed, I said to her that I was sorry for saying that and she said "you did'nt say anything"