Actually I just try and make myself feel better about this whole situation. I get down and out but lately I know I am a great guy. Heck since this all began in Oct. I have lost almost 50 pounds I am close to as good of shape as the day I got out of boot camp in 86. I look and feel good about myself. I am a dang good catch! Everything I say on here is exactly my thought at that moment.
I did the taxes today and only talked about our d 17's rx that I picked up. She might try and contact me about the taxes but I will be to busy to reply or answer. I just don't need her anymore. I know this and I keep telling myself the same thing every day. I hope she misses me someday but she might not. So this is the best thing for me.
I picked my kids up from school today and we laughed for a bit and that made my day.
I haven't had a beer in a while so a I think I am going to go have a few. First I will give my phone and keys to my cousin. I don't want any set backs. That made me laugh by it is true.
Have a good day my BITS!
Me 44 W 38 M 18 D 18 D 13 Bomb 10/21/2010 Divorced 7/19/2011 Just getting to the 7th inning!
Well I had a few beers last night and a bunch of laughter. I needed that! I had 3 missed calls and 1 text message saying "did u want 2 discuss the taxes? I didn't respond and I haven't let her know anything. I don't like ignoring her but if it's not about the kids I need to stay dark. I slept good last night so thats a positive sign.
I am not doing as good as I would like today. I have a little anxiety telling me to let her know what went on with the taxes. But I know I am not her priority so why should she be my priority? I will refrain from letting her know anything.
I have been thinking about my wife and the OM today. With this guy single and never really having a woman in his life. She has replaced me with someone else and I really don't like that thought. It has been eating at me all morning. I have been replaced by another man and I was told by some of my friends that know him better than I do, he is a really good guy. That is probably the thing that hurts me the most. I don't see this thing ending. Do I still hold out a slight bit of hope that someday it might end or just let go of her for good? Maybe this is just a slip in my detatchment and maybe I should focus on myself. Maybe it's just my first bad day in a while.
I need to focus and I need to be the better man.
Me 44 W 38 M 18 D 18 D 13 Bomb 10/21/2010 Divorced 7/19/2011 Just getting to the 7th inning!
I can have the same thoughts about the OM, not much we can do there. Wait it out and hope feelings change. I don't know if you caught up on my sitch about what the DB Coach said on this, interesting stuff about how their brains are affected during the beginning of the affair.
Try to get it out of your head, tough to do sometimes, I know...
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
I can have the same thoughts about the OM, not much we can do there. Wait it out and hope feelings change. I don't know if you caught up on my sitch about what the DB Coach said on this, interesting stuff about how their brains are affected during the beginning of the affair.
Definitely true... And they don't even know that it's happening...
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
The past is history, the future's a mystery, and now is a gift, that's why they call it the present.
That kind of sums me up right now! I was having a bad day but I am getting through the fog. I hate this roller coaster and I know I have to get myself back on track, some days that's easier said than done.
I am going to get on track today I need to focus on work and get my mind off this crappy situation. I am really glad my boss is a great guy and he understands what is happening in my life. I owe him the hard working man that I was before this kick to my lower extremities. Funny how a guys mind will wonder when I have a load of work to get done.
All of the pictures in our living room have been changed I am not in any of them now. That hurt me a little yesterday. I am glad she wasn't home when I was there because she would have seen the devastation on my face. I think I want the pictures.
To move forward with the divorce, I need the Deed to what was once our home. I have asked my wife to give it to me so we can proceed. That's what she wants! I want to know would it be out of line to ask her one more time for it and tell her if she is not going to get in a hurry, I will get a copy from the courthouse myself? This would indicate that I am willing to move on and this could also show that I refuse to put up with her having an affair. Maybe I should back off? I need some input BITS!!!!
Me 44 W 38 M 18 D 18 D 13 Bomb 10/21/2010 Divorced 7/19/2011 Just getting to the 7th inning!
