Look at it this way, he hasn't gone out and had an A, he hasn't moved out or filed for a D.
I think he is a very strong loving person who has been hurt enough that yeah he will still participate some but you are going to have to go back to being the Karen he met.
He needs to see that you aren't going to hurt him again. Yeah, I know it hurts that he won't help work on the R. But at least he didn't leave the R. Try to look at the positives. How many threads do you read on here where the WAS had an A, moved out, filed for D?
Don't smack me ok? I am trying to save you the grief I had to go through to get my life back. I think you have time to rebuild your marriage.
It is just going to take a lot of hard work.
No, it isn't easy, but you WILL be happier for it. Please, please believe me.
I'm not inferring your H is likely to leave, ok? Just saying yeah he isn't helping to rebuild the sand castle but HE ISN'T TRYING TO STOMP IT EITHER!!!
Go back to the fun Karen he married.
Don't focus on him or the R right now. Focus on YOU!!!
You are what you can control and you are who you can change.
Then if in the end he really can't see it and change to be with you, you will be a person much more ready in the future for a new R with someone that can see you for the wonderful person that you are becoming.
Do me a favor, let me see you become that fun loving, active, doing person again. I will enjoy reading about it!!
{{{{{{Karen}}}}}}}
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
