I've read that book. It gave me hope in the days just before and after my D. I liked the way the book is written from both the WAW's and the LBS' perspectives so that you know what they each were thinking at different times in their situation. The authors also have a website and if you google them you can find YouTube videos of interviews they've done.
ChrisHB, I highly recommend DB coaching! I have gone to therapists a few other times in my life (i.e. parents' death, 1st D) and my DB coach (Jody) is by far the best therapist I've ever worked with. I started working with her fairly soon after the bomb and I really think that my XH and I wouldn't have the friendly R we have if it wasn't for her recommendations. The focus of my work with Jody was to work toward reconciliation with H/XH. She had many, many novel ideas of things that I could do to work toward this goal.
I've read your threads and I would recommend that before you invest in DB coaching you think about what your primary goal is with counseling. That way you will be prepared for the time that you spend talking with the coach. I always spend a couple hours preparing notes for my coaching sessions. That way I make the best use of our time in the session and it forces me to review what has happened in my situation recently. Sometimes I am really surprised at how many interactions I've had with XH in the recent past. When I right it all down, I can see trends that I didn't realize were there before.
You've had a lot of significant losses recently. You may want to focus on your mental health right now and wait to focus on trying to reconnect with your XW. Dealing with your personal stressors should make you feel more grounded and relaxed and as a result may actually draw your XW to you. Certainly, the DB coaches are experienced therapists so they could help you to clarify where you want to focus your efforts at this time.
