Wanted to say thanks to all my BITS for the support. I honestly don't know what I would do without all of you.
I am more confused than ever. Some folks say I should stay "dark," while others support "dim." I think all points have their merits. Lost was very correct in her case to choose "dim" over "dark" and I am starting to wonder if I shouldn't do the same. I just don't know.
Today, I met with my C. I told him that I am ready to apologize for what I have done much like you did. He said that he doesn't think it would be a bad idea as long as I:
1) Do it for the right reasons. 2) Go into it with no expectations. 3) Are prepared for the results no matter what that might be.
He is very good at what he does. I also told him that I am sick and tired of sitting in limbo. I asked him if he thought it would be acceptable to call my wife and ask her if she could describe to me "where she feels we are right now?" I don't care if she says "finished," or "I need more time," or whatever. At least I would have some sort of answer. If she says "finished," I will at least know I need to do some more work or just quit. That will be my decision.
As for the OM, I have no idea. Yes, she met him in Canada and that is where he resides. But, a plane ticket and a passport aren't that expensive. For three days during New Year's Eve, she completely disappeared. She later admitted to my FIL that she was in New Orleans the entire time, but wouldn't give details as to who she was there with...
I greatly respect the opinion of all my BITS. I honestly and truly do because many of you are ahead of me in this mess. I am just struggling to figure out what might be the best strategy for my sitch. I am very worried that going completely "dark" may not be the answer. I struggle with this because those that say her clock started again three weeks ago when she got her new place are correct. But, that also doesn't take away from the fact that we have been playing this idiotic game for five months now. On March 6th, it will be six months. Since we don't have any kids, the waiting period is over in my state. One of us can walk down to the courthouse and end it with a signature...
And, on top of all of this, my brother's wedding is quickly approaching. In the middle of all this, I have to plan his bachelor party and get myself mentally prepared for a four hour period of being 25 feet away from her without the ability touch her or hold her or dance with her when the music turns romantic...
FOBD
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
