Boundaries with Love

[DownNotOut...yet]

I will not hide from her today, but be willing to process the weekend's events with her.

GOOD! That is a step forward.

Have you ever bit back? I'm just wondering, not necessarily advocating, but what would happen, if you turned to her and said, "I did my best, next time get your own dam egg McMuffin, and quite your bitching while your at it!"

I say this because at times it seems like your wife is screaming for a man to step up and meet her challenges. Like she needs a man who can put her in her place a little. Might sound crazy but I really wonder if you got neanderthal on her, would she not be purring like a kitten 15 minutes later. It might even take her a day to process what just happened because of the shock but when the dust settled, might she say, THAT is the man I have been waiting for?

Having read your situation for a few years now, it seems your wife picks because she can. She wants a reaction but never gets it and a pattern has developed where she pushes you around. I wonder if she would prefer NOT to be able to push you around but there is now such a deep pattern that only something drastic can break it.

There is an anecdote in the Divorce Busting book about the guy who finally put his foot down and hard. His wife fell in line fast. Food for thought anyway. As always keep up the good work.