Not Sure Which Way to Go

[downandoutintn]

I don't know about you but I go out with my friends and have them over for dinner and share my life with them.

Well I got caught in another conversation today. I know I am not supposed to contact her but there are few things that we do have to take care of outside of the kids. We have had to change bancruptcy plans since the D. So there was a problem about the counseling that we had to take and she said I was screwing her over. I called her to tell her that I was not screwing her over and that there must have been a mistake. That is when it happened. She completely told every thing. She said that she has not had time to deal with the sitch. She also mentioned that she told the OM that she could not deal with him right now that she has to get her head straight. She said had cried all night last night and this morning. I told her that there was nothing I could do for her to make her feel better that should would have to deal with this on her own. She asked me if I got the text from her the other night. I told her I had. She asked why I didn't respond. I told her because there was nothing to respond about. She said well can't we be friends? I said no we can't be friends. I said friends hang out together, they talk and have dinner together and we are none of those. I said we can be friendly but not not friends. I said I don't want to be on your bad side or your enemy but I can't be only your friend.

She said she is so overwhelmed and pretty much asked me to hold her up through it. I said that is for you to deal with and that I can not do that for you and I can not help you through this. You wanted this and you will have to deal with the circumstances.

There was more but it was basically blame game. (her blaming me for everything)

I did not want to get into this conversation at all. I really do want to move on. I am starting to feel like I don't want her in my life anymore. Not to point fingers but she constantly brought me down by telling me I was never good enough at anything. This will really kill a person's self confidence. I have really found out these past few months what I am able to do with out her. Now I have started to question myself as to why I want to stay with her after this weekend and now she is wanting me to support her through this D. I don't think so.