You both have it so much harder than me that is for sure. I am fortunate in that the other man in this sitch does not live in this country - he travelled here on business on a regular basis and that is how they had their affair - he has not been back to my knowledge and my wife swears that she has not had any contact with him and has no desire to - she told me that the affair she had actually disgusted her and she is not attracted to him in the least - it was an "escape" from the challenges of our bad marriage, not a love for him sitch - so at least I don't have to deal with her being emotionally attached to him - at least that is what she tells me and I have to believe her on that, which I do.
That said, mine refuses to talk about a future with me and simply is incapable of moving forward in a positive manner - she is simply just stuck in a rut and will not go for counseling or even discuss the matter with me - its quite frustrating to be in this nightmare and the person who put you in it won't even talk. Not sure what to do at this point.
Semiole - good for you that you are being the best father that you can be - your kids will look back on this in years to come and know that you were there for them during this nightmare in their lives -that is a gift of life and love and it will last a lifetime for them.
When I wake up at 3:00 AM - and I do most nights actually - the only way I can get back to sleep and rest is to fall on God's word and His promise to me for a future with hope. I take my bible to my bed each night and my arms are around God's word and my hope lies only in Him - not in my wife. Two passages that get me thru those hard lonely frustrating nights are these
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know what I have planned for you, says the Lord. I have plans to prosper you, not to harm you. I have plans to give you a future filled with hope"
and then
Psalms 4:8 "I will lie down and sleep in peace , for you alone O Lord, will keep me safe"
I then pray for my wife's healing and for her to have her heart soften and to seek peace for us as a couple. That allows me to sleep in peace.
I wish you both God's peace in your lives and in your futures
M-58 W-56 Married 33 years BOMB -Sept/10 Separated 8 months
BITS (of Fruit) Firstlove
"Go Confidently in the direction of YOUR dreams - Live the life you've imagined" - Thoreau
