Tom Brady , after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Patriots flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Tom," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here." Tom felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house.
On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a GREEN & GOLD sidewalk, a 50-foot tall flagpole with an enormous PACKERS flag, and in every window, a CHEESEHEAD .
Tom looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I hold many NFL records, and I even won a few Super Bowls."
God said "So what's your point, Tom?" "Well, why does Aaron Rodgers get a better house than I do ?"
God chuckled, and said: "Tom, that's not Aaron 's house......it's Mine."
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage.
"Hey, Doc, want to take a look at this?"
The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and ask, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its' heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make $39,675 a year and you get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?"
The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic..........."Try doing it with the engine running."
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
> A woman goes to the doctor all black and blue. ... > > Doctor: "What happened?" > > Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home > drunk on Bud Light he beats me to a pulp." > > Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home > drunk on Bud Light, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in > your mouth but don't swallow. > > Just keep swishing and swishing until he goes to bed in his Bud Light > stupor." > > Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and > reborn. > > Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea. Every time my husband came home > drunk on Bud Light, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he > didn't touch me!" > > Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
Alabama, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, North Carolina, South Carolina, Georgia, Tennessee, Texas, Mississippi, Kentucky, West Virginia Nice Tits, Get in the Truck
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal. Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said 'Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has.. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're finished.'
The Irishman nodded in acknowledgment.
As the match started, the Irishman and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the Irishman and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold. A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost.. He couldn't watch the inevitable happen.
Suddenly, there was a Long, High Pitched Scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and the Irishman collapsed on top of him, making the pin and winning the match.
The trainer was astounded. When he finally got his wrestler alone, he asked 'How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!'
The wrestler answered 'Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength, I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could.'
The trainer exclaimed 'That's what finished him off?'
'Not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own nuts."
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
Enjoy this and remember how blessed we are each day to wake up to see what a great day it is.
A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help." There were only a few coins in the hat.
A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words. Soon the hat began to fill up.
A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"
The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way. "I wrote: 'Today is a beautiful day; but I cannot see it.'"
Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign reminded people how fortunate they were to have their sight. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?
Moral of the Story:
Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.
It's a beautiful thing to see a person smiling. But even more beautiful is knowing that you are the reason for the smile!
Faith is not about everything turning out OK; Faith is about being OK no matter how things turn out. Enjoy this beautiful day with a heart full of gratitude.
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
