Thanks HB, I realize this is true. I do believe she will suffer the consequences, and I know she will need to in order to never make this mistake again.
When I talked about consequences so the mistake was not repeated; I was NOT talking about the OW/OM; I was talking about the MLC'er.
The majority of the time, MLC'ers go into this innocently; never understanding until later, the fact that an affair will take them farther than they ever wanted to go...and when they try and break it down; there are MORE problems that come about...some of them lay on the MLC'er, for their weakness; and susceptibility to addiction, and some lay on OW/OM for their craziness.
What you need to understand is there are actually OWs that repeat this all the time; they are users that will stop at nothing to "keep" their married man.
When they lose one; after a period of time, they go on the hunt for another.
I had to teach my husband about women who are that way, as the Lord instructed me to.
I did alot of research back in the day; boy, my eyes were opened wide!!
I actually worked with an OW in the past who was very open about the married man she was seeing.
She was USING him to pay her bills;and she gave him sex in return...no doubt the man was in MLC; but she didn't care about that. She only cared about what he could do for HER...and the MLC'er cares about what the OW "does" for them...they do use each other and it turns out badly every time.
Part of my journey was the research I did; and I learned to NEVER give OW/OMs the benefit of the doubt...I learned to see them for who and what they were; destructive people; who cared nothing for anyone but themselves.
My husband's OW would have kept him if she could have; and she went to great lengths to try and "win" him away from me. It didn't work, as my husband's mind was made up; but the addiction that was so hard to break kept him going back until he gained the strength to break free of her. She never realized that the love that was STILL there in his heart was bringing him back to me. I knew when she was gone..but then, I was dealing with a man going through OW Withdrawal; and the end was still nowhere in sight.
I can only hope your husband's eyes are opened to her true colors; waking up to what he's doing; that is the first step to breaking down the affair...but it doesn't begin to happen until the dissatisfaction level gets high in one or both, or a "change" happens in the MLC'er to make them see what they are doing that is so destructive.
You don't have to dislike or even hate the OW; you just need to understand what they are about; and what your husband is up against within the mistake he has made.
The devil throws down many roadblocks during MLC; and this is one of the hardest to overcome; as the devil never presents the true nature of the roadblock; he shows a beautiful exterior; an escape, if you will.
Many a person has gone this wrong way; only to be entangled in a snare of this kind; and trapped in a different way.
The first step is the thought; then the justification to make it "OK"; which opens the door to sin; then the action, which causes more problems than anticipated..and the Bible does say the wages of sin is death..and this is not always physical; it is emotional; relational, and spiritual.
More food for thought.
Remember, as each person is different, every MLC/Transition is different..what works for one may not work for another. Most of the time it is trial and error for ALL involved.
