well, before this cycle (my h has asked for a divorce in various levels of intensity-this being the most intense, 4 times) i was stronger and much more independent one of those women who were fine being alone i have a great family, friends and i love my career (which i worked my butt off to get) if i perceived a relationship i had was going under, i could walk away easily walk away... of course this is different we have a history and the most important thing, a gorgeous s (you should see him)
but the begging and and pursuing i've done is just shocking to me
Grr, my wife had often said almost the same thing too. Different circumstances and history obviously, but she was independent, hardworking, full of life, had many many friends she held dear...and whenever she recounts her marriage to me, she said she should've walked away when she saw the signs while we're dating or early in our marriage. Now we have a history and a beautiful son as well, which make things really sad and complicated.
Grr, I wish you peace and love tonight. These are some tough times we are living in. Sometimes all we can offer each other is our caring tone and words. Hang in there!
BITS never walk alone!!!
FOBD
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
thanks guys i wish you the same we all need to hang in there....who knows where things are going? and as i found out last year, things can change at any time
my h called before to ask me to get s ready for skateboarding i tell him that i was making breakfast and asked if he had eaten
he told me not to worry about him
5 minutes later he called back and asked me to make enough for him
so he lies the question am i dbing or door matting?
one part of me thinks "be pleasant - let him see what he's missing"
the other is saying "get your own breakfast" but that is more reason to stay away i guess
goes into the bathroom, comes out in just his briefs, goes past me to the backyard, to trim his nails which is where he always does it but is this appropriate for a separated couple?
we kept it light he thanked me for breakfast and they just left for the day i don't feel like a door mat is that one word by the way solely
some of that is familiarity. When times were really bad with my W, I was told to not have expectations at all. Act as if you were divorced. That way, you can see certain behaviors clearer. Like, would she do certain things if you were divorced.
That's tough. for sure...
solely - you funny.
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
You ever hear the saying, "do what in your heart you feel is right, for you shall be criticized anyway?"
Doing things for our spouses, it's about what we feel is right. I think that if you had refused, you would have created a bad atmosphere which isn't what you wanted to do.
There's no easy answer, grr.. I wish there was.
I'm praying for you, sweetie and hope that you are doing well!!!
I am with the majority here. H came back into a familiar place. Just another chance to DB as 2step said.
My problem right now is detaching. I see my W everyday, as we co-parent. It blows that I cannot give her the love I want. I just need to back off, and let it run its course.
I can see that in you as well. You are not a doormat. Stay strong. Everyday he comes by with that same familiarity is another day he will understand what he is missing.
Me - 33 W - 33 S - 9 months M - 3 years T - 5.5 years Bomb - 12/14/10 ILYBNILWY PA discovered - 1/18/11 PA began - 3/22/10 Separated
