Like I said, I will be addressing these questions with the DB coach tonight. BTW, I am under no illusion that everything is "hunky dory."
I can see it from both sides. Now one thing is completely true, the only way my W and I will ever reconcile, or even attempt it, is if her affair fizzles out, and she no longer gets that "excitement" from it. The question is, will "going dark" really speed up that process? I am not sure, maybe, maybe not. If I respond to her text, am I slowing this process down? IDK. She might be eating cake right now, but as far as that affecting how she feels for the OM, who knows.
One thing I do know, that IF her affair ever starts to fizzle, it is in our M's best interest that she feels possitive towards me when/if that happens.
Like I said, I will see what the DB coach says about this. Also keep in mind, I am initiating NO contact, I have only replied to her questions/comments.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
