I'd say the reason for our separation was my undiagnosed depression and my absolute lack of a life and my smothering him, trying to make him my entire world.
I also didn't trust him, was disrespectful and couldn't hold a job.
I wasn't doing anything to improve my life, only barely surviving in the black hole I was in.
Now, I've held a job (in one form or another ) at the University for over a year now.
I am making my own life. I try to show him daily that I trust and respect him.
And I've gotten to the point where I'm in depression maintenance. Sticking to low carb really helps keep the depression away for me.
So, in a huge way, his leaving me forced me to change.
I was diagnosed for depression after I ended up in the hospital the first time he tried to leave. They put me on Zoloft. I was on Zoloft for a year, learned how 'normal' feels. I was taking 150 a day, and then slowly weaned off it with my Doctors help. I had to wean off slowly as each time I stepped the dosage down, I'd start to see 'trails'. If I waved my hand in front of my face, I'd see 'echos' of my hand passing in front of my eyes. Not fun. Took me about 6 months to completely wean off as I waited until the 'trails' stopped before stepping down to the next dosage level.
And now, I quickly put on the brakes when I feel myself sliding back into that black hole.
) at the University for over a year now. 
