I mentioned to Country and Islander that being in the friend zone only serves to validate her actions and that she now has the best of both worlds. Her affair and your friendship.
Exactly.
You guys with W's having the active A's but still perfectly happy being friends with you, need to go dark as possible.
If you want your M, you are all going to have to wait out the A. I hate to say this, but there is not going to be any progress until OM is out of the picture.
I think that when WAS is in an affair, you have two choices 1) hard line or 2) wait it out. Hard line simply means that you set a boundary with consequences. That boundary would be that you are not going to tolerate OM as long as you are M'd... the consequence? You are done with M yourself.
Most likely, this will get you D'd.
The second approach... wait it out. But you can't do this and give your W the best of both worlds at the same time. The cheating S is never going to have any incentive to even think about ending the A. Think about that. How long do you guys want to have to wait??
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
