SC, Thanks for the "pick me up." I really, really appreciate it. If you don't mind me asking, how long did you have to remain dark to get these little rays of positive response? I ask because I have been dark for a couple of months now and nothing much has resulted from it.
Lord man, for the first year about I screwed up. Tried Retrouvaille, tried the "Love Dare" after that failed. Talked until I was blue. He percieved it all as controlling and pressure. I didn't read DB until July 2010, and didn't get to the boards until Nov. 2010. I started to go dim around the previous July but not consistently ( and consistency is important it appears) I started bein consistent around Nov 2010, laying down boundaries of contact I could maintain. So all told about 8 months. It has not been smooth, it has not been easy.
I thought her sudden interest in me a few weeks ago was the results of going dark. I got on here and praised my efforts and how well they worked. But, it was all a sham. She just wanted stuff from the house and money. Once she got that, she disappeared again. The going dark had nothing to do with her sudden interest in me. It was her own personal gains and needs that bought her back to the table. And once they were fulfilled, she disappeared again and now sends me to voicemail.
It still amazes me. For 14 years, I would get a huge ration of sh*t from her if we didn't talk on the phone every day. Especially if we were traveling on business or separated due to some sort of travel. Now, she sends me to voicemail on every chance she gets...
Yeah I got that too. H even bought me a cell phone so I was reachable all the time. Got irritated when I only turned it on for my convienence - I didn't like "being on call." ( My perception at the time)
I would like to say I am having one of those days, but it is more like I am having one of those months. February has just been awful. Numerous days in bed until noon or later. The only thing I have stayed faithful to is my family, my job, my gym time and my BITS. I have let everything else fall by the wayside.
Oh how I understand. In my case I've been begging off the gym because my emotions are so close to the surface and if I start to cry kicking the crap out of a bag, well it's just not good for me until I get a bit more emotionally healthy. Bed seems really attractive to me too.
BITS never walk alone!
FOBD
BITS Me-51, WAS-52 Kids 2 M-26yrs, H.left 2009, 2 more Bomb drops, Reconnection spring 2013 Change is inevitable, personal growth is a choice. Love is a action and choice you make, every day.
