Shine on you crazy diamond II

[FellOnBlackDays]

2step,
Wanted to get back to you specifically. First, I love the Bastogne reference. I am a huge WWII buff. I am a charter member of the National WWII museum in New Orleans and visit often. If you would like some good reading, pick up "Seven Roads to Hell." It was written by a member of the 506th who fought there. I got to meet him in person a couple of years ago and had him sign my book. A few years ago, I got to take a ride in a fully restored B-17 with a WWII Air Corp veteran who served as a radio operator on 36 missions over Europe. My old college roommate's grandfather was the medic from Louisiana portrayed in Band of Brothers. I have met some of the members of the Band of Brothers and Stephen Ambrose before he died. Yes, I definitely see how my the Bastogne reference could apply here. I wish we could hook up and "nerd out" on WWII talk.

As for a coaching session, I have purchased a three session package and have used one of them. It might be time for another. It really seemed to help.

You know, I followed your apology details to your W. I actually printed out your conversation with her and have highlighted the parts I would like to use with my own W. But, everyone keeps telling me to stay dark and not try to apologize right now. I kind of agree with them. She is still very, very angry and looking for a whipping boy. I think if I tried to pull off an apology like yours, I would get pulverized verbally by her. But, I am tired of waiting. I know her anger is growing with my "darkness." She always hated the fact that I would not share my emotions or communicate. It was part of the reason why she left. So, what am I doing now. NOT COMMUNICATING!!! Again, this is the worst "Catch 22" I have ever had to face. I am clueless as to what to do next??

Yes, I do carry so much guilt. The past couple of weeks have been a real "eye opener." You have seen my posts. They have gone completely negative for over two weeks. I have handed myself my own "2x4" and it was quite a shot. Yes, I am doing whatever I can to focus on why I did it and how I can prevent it in the future. Maybe I will have better luck with my next W...

I just don't have much to keep me motivated lately. My feelings seem to constantly move between numb and disgust. I now I can't fix anything right now, and I am starting to worry that it won't matter anyway...

Thanks for your help, buddy! You are the best!

BITS truly never walk alone!!!

FOBD