Shine on you crazy diamond II

[FellOnBlackDays]

Hey BITS,
I finally have some time to get out some replies to all your wonderful posts. I am sober now and feeling a bit better after a full day of busting my tail on household chores and grocery shopping.

Bolt,
You are correct. I bet the 50% that fail don't ever visit this site or try to. So, I guess DB'ing does help our odds. The funny thing is that I completely believe in the DB'ing principles. I have seen it work here on the boards and I will forever preach their effectiveness. But not all things are going to work 100% of the time. My M suffered a real blow. A fatal blow in many ways. And even the very best ER docs can't save all patients. Just some food for thought.

9lives,
Yes, I do have a reason to call her. She messed up while using our insurance and I have been getting calls from the insurance company. I will have to call her to discuss this. Frankly, I am not looking forward to it. I have come to kind of dislike when I have to talk to her. I will be bubbly and DB, and she will act uninterested and very matter of fact / almost blunt. I just don't enjoy speaking to her now that I realize the brief period a couple of weeks ago of her talking to me every day was nothing more than a ploy to get the furniture and money she needed. She has definitely changed her attitude since she got what she wanted.

MyKarma,
Thanks for the words of encouragement. I do know that in all honesty I am not alone here. But, when I come home half lit to an empty house, it just wears on me to the point that I kind of lose my mind and my emotions. I really should stay off the boards while I have been drinking.

Grr,
Yes, you are correct about the drinking. It is not helpful. For the record, I only let myself have alcohol on the weekends. I completely ban myself from it during the week and nights before I am to go to the gym. I have stayed very faithful to my gym routine and I don't let the alcohol mess with that. It is hard to workout hung over.

You are right, she does need to see a "functioning, happy male" if she is ever going to want to come home. That is what I am showing her on the rare occasion we see each other. The beating down, alcohol swilling FOBD only comes out here.

I did read the post on the FB page and I did like it quite a bit. I wish I would have had that article about a year ago. It might have helped.

FirstLove,
I absolutely loved your list. That was good stuff. Please be sure that you post that numerous times for all to see. I have felt every word on that list in my own life. Thanks for sharing.

BITS never walk alone!

FOBD