Thought I would post today in order to vent. Nothing has changed in terms of my situation and I am finding it more difficult each day to keep up the effort.
Bomb was dropped almost 16 months ago and I was able to confirm a long suspected EA 3 months ago. From what I have seen the EA is dying out but wife and OM are still communicating at work. Wife has not told me what her plans are and I have not approached her about having an R discussion.
I find it frustrating that the OM knows what is going on but I have no idea other than what I have been able to pull together. Why does a WAW spouse think she can continue to live in the same house without providing any explanation about what she is doing.
Its killing me not to ask about the OM, but I realize I shouldn't go there. Living in limbo, giving a 150% effort everyday with nothing in return is challenging. Wife is still looking for a new job and has an interview next week. Changing jobs would be a major step forward for me in terms of my sanity.
Will stick with the program, but just needed to come here and vent and hopefully get some support. We have 3 young children and I am trying to do what is best for them. No one said this would be easy, but I never imagined how painful this would actually be. Wife is currently taking aSpanish class and she had to describe her family in written Spanish. Her report covered the 3 kids, our dog and her parents. No mention of any husband. Tomorrow is another day.
I cannot imagine your pain Punchy. I struggle from day to day, but from all appearances there is no OM in my sitch - otherwise we are the same.
The other big difference is the time...you've been in this so much longer that me. I've been trying to set a "timeline" for me, but I've been unable to do it so far. I'm at 3.5 months now, and few months ago I would have never believed I would have lasted this long. You have to do what's best for you at some point.
In my sitch at least, my W finally appears to be realizing how difficult things are going to be, but I swear this is the first time in over 3 months she's even thought about it.
It makes wonder though if I want this M/R at any cost?! What if she decides to "comeback" only from financial concerns?!??! Then do I have to worry that again in the future, when maybe financially things wouldn't be so difficult then she walks for good?
It's not fair, not matter how we handle it. I hope your venting has allowed you to refocus your attention on what matters - YOU!
BITS SIC
Me - 34 W - 33 M - 8 years T - 15 years D7, D5, D2 Bomb Nov 10/2010 "I'm not happy and INILWY" W Staying for the kids Mar 13/2011
