If you read my other topic you will see that I attempted to go dark. I found this to be difficult due to the fact that we have 3 kids together and I am staying in a house very close to the family. Shortly after I went dark all kinds of things began to happen, D7 hurt herself, the day care the other 2 were in closed unexpectedly and furnace and dryer stopped working. All this caused W and I to have contact. I took the contact as an opportunity to DB. All smiles no R talk, full on 180's and slowly GAL. This has been going on for a little over a month.
Also in the last topic you will see that I have been trying to get W to go to Retrouvaille in March. On Monday I sent W an e-mail asking if she would go. In the mail I validated her reasons for what she has done and gave my point of view. I was looking for a yes/no answer but in the response W said that she hears and relates to what I said but has not made her mind, she needs more time. I find out a few days later that a friend’s baby shower is the same weekend of the retreat and when I pick up the kids today she tells me that she bought the expecting mother a gift and is planning on going to the shower. This is her way of telling me that she is not going to retreat.
I also find out that W has had divorce papers in her possession since 02/14/2011 but has not given them to me yet or spoke about them. So I am looking for suggestions on how I should proceed? Bank Account…No changes have been made to our joint account since I moved out. I have been told that I need to open my own checking account and have my check deposited in the new one. Give a view on how it will be $ without me. I make 90% of the income and have not made this move due to the fact that I am worried it will p!ss her off but I am worried that the only real changes that have been made is that I am not around as much. Which brings me to my next question…
I feel that W is using 60 day grace period on D to see how things are going. She then will decide if this is what she wants. As I have said before, I cannot go completely dark due to the kids but how much should I pull back? I am torn because she has said that these last few weeks have been great because they are the same and the only difference is that I am not there for a few hours at night. On the other hand, if I SHOW HER WHAT IT IS LIKE WITHOUT ME, will this have a negative effect? Will it push her away? Where is the line of doing what is right for me and making it hard on her? Should I even care how hard it is on her since she is the one walking?
