Hey ninelives... consider yourself a member of the BITS... no invite necessary...
just sign off or put it in your signature...
Islander... 2Step is giving you very good advice.
You have to have patience man. I actually think that you are seeing some small baby steps with your W. The very first positive signs that I saw from my W were here initiated text messages about stuff that she did not need to be contacting me about ... like the camera in your situation.
PATIENCE & TIME
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
I shouldn't feel as sad and alone as I do. I have so much support. My MIL/FIL have done so much for me. My parents are there for me, but I can't Open up to them like I should. My dad just drove 6 hours to bring me down a very nice living room set that my brother gave me. I went to church with my dad and inlaws and I felt so distant from everybody. Now I am home and all I want to do is cry and I feel so empty. This is definitely the worst time of my life, as i know it is for so many other people. I am trying to GAL, and will gonfishing on tuesday. Then my parents will visit this weekend and spend time with my D. I know it will be a very tough weekend for me, as this will be the first time they have visited since this nightmare began. I really need to get some sleep before I go back to work.
One good thing will be that my W will see the new things in the house and definitely wonder what is going on.
BITS
M:34 W:28 SD:9 D:6 (pr) M:3 T:6 Separated 1/16/11 ILYBNILWY 10/25/10 PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10
I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...
Just stay dark for now Islander... keep posting here and updating us on any progress...
And remember, progress can be as simple AS a text message from your W...
She is processing her own sh!t right now... remember that, and give her the time and space to do it.
I know that it is sad and lonely where you are with this emotionally Islander... You really need to try and detach more from the situation...
Go out today and do something fun man... Go see a movie or something.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
Right now detachment is fluctuating from having almost no recognizable emotions to feeling everything. But I do think that as far as detaching goes, I am headed in the right direction.
I have to work tonight, so no fun for me. I still haven't slept since I got off this morning, so I am going to try to get a few now.
BITS
M:34 W:28 SD:9 D:6 (pr) M:3 T:6 Separated 1/16/11 ILYBNILWY 10/25/10 PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10
I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...
Islander, Im sitting here reading your posts and feeling what you are going thru. It is hell. It takes everything i have to get up and start the day. My H left in 12/10 stating he was unhappy and things werent fixable but then i later found out the was an OW. He said that had no bearing in his decision in leaving. I say cr@p to that. Ive had very little contact with him in fact he filed papers about a week ago. He currently is visiting this OW in a different city where she lives. I want so much to hate him and to be able to tell him i hope his life is miserable, etc. but the truth is i love him dearly and have forgiven him for his decision. He just doesnt seem to care what i say. I am trying the LRT but really dont see any signs of improvement. I was so angry when i found out he was visiting her now that i sent a not so nice text message to him. Im sure by reading that he wants to stay longer on his visit. This is so hard as you know. We've been M for 29yr. I guess he just had enough of what he calls unhappiness. I back and forth between TRYING to be so mad at him and not wanting him back in my life to how i wish he'd walk thru the door. The disadvantage i think i have is that he filed papers. To me thats like almost nailing the coffin shut. Im with you when you say you know what you want. I agree. I just dont feel my chances are there. Especially when hes visiting the person he says he can be so nice to. I keep thinking he'll come to his senses but the longer he is gone i think the chances of that diminish. He has lost his children, who want nothing to do with him,(their decision), his other family members. He has basically no one except ow and a friend. Anyway hang it there. Im sure i will be getting a "response" to the not so pleasant text i sent him the other day. Take care.
I feel you pain Rue. I don't understand how somebody could walk away from their family, without so much as trying (and I mean actually trying). I don't have it in me to do that to somebody. And your right, everything and every reason they give you for what they are doing is crap! I do not nor do I want to hate my W. I have forgiven her for what she has done whether she wants that from me or not. But just because I have forgiven her does not mean that it doesn't hurt like hell.
BITS
M:34 W:28 SD:9 D:6 (pr) M:3 T:6 Separated 1/16/11 ILYBNILWY 10/25/10 PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10
I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...
Feeling detached but depressed. Maybe that isn't possible. Idk. That is how I feel. I will say that yesterday and today I actually felt pretty good, relatively speaking. I got a new living room set and rearranged a few things. Starting to feel like it is my own place, and u have plans for a lot more. It feels good but depressing also. I am full of contradictions.
It has been a full week since the last time I have spoke to my W and it kills me. But again, I don't have another choice given what I want. My M, W, and family back. I had my D tonight and she was excited about the new furniture, a d it was the first time she saw her room in a month. She liked the changes, but I know she would have rather kept everything the same. I just put her to bed and feel horrible. It is the first time my D has stayed with me in about 6 weeks, prior to that she was staging at my inlaws, next door. Ugh....
BITS
M:34 W:28 SD:9 D:6 (pr) M:3 T:6 Separated 1/16/11 ILYBNILWY 10/25/10 PA discovered 11/12/10, began about 10/1/10
I am not who I was, I am being remade, I am new...