Shine on you crazy diamond II

[Firstlove]

FOBD

I don't know your sitch there either in any great detail other than reading your posts, and feeling your pain brother. Let me throw out a few things for you to consider, if they make zero sense, throw them out, but here are a few of my 2 cents worth.

A little background first. Married for 33 years here to the most beautiful woman on the planet and the love of my life and the mother of my precious children. I spent pretty much 33 years doing my best to kill her spirit from my own selfishness and I have done an excellent job of making her soul dead inside, due to my selfishness and own weaknesses. And I did that to God's gift in my life, believe me when I tell you friend, you do not corner the market on making mistakes when it comes to loving your wife the proper way. I could give CLASSES on how to mess things up beyond comprehension. Have I been in your shoes and walked a zillion miles in them, yes I have. Here are a few things I am learning in life.

1. We all make mistakes, each and every one of us, there is not one perfect and righteous person on this planet, not one. We are all sinners my friend, lighten up on yourself.
2. Forgiveness is the only key to healing - you have to forgive yourself and then forgive those who have transgressed against you. Forgiveness is NOT an easy thing to do, but it is worth it. I heard this one time and it stuck. It was written by a man who saw his family murdered in front of him in the Nazi concentration camps. This is his quote " Forgiveness has its value only in forgiving - the unforgiveable". I think he knew something about experiencing the unforgiveable.
3. There are three things important in this human life we live - the first is to be kind - the second is to be kind and the third - is to be kind.
4. Faith and hope, irregardless of one's circumstances is an AMAZING force. Have faith my friend and be a man of hope in all things. Remember this, "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see"
5. I, through my selfishness have caused the death of love by my own hands in my marriage. My wife has no hope for our future and will not even speak one word to me of building something new after 33 years of her trying her best. She is now DONE with me and everytime I turn around trying to make amends and correct the error of my ways, I am met with rebuke and a stern "NO" - I am done, let it go.
6. I will fight to restore the love I destroyed even it it takes a lifetime. My wife is the love of my life and I will spend my life trying to prove that love is real. Love is patient, love is kind, love is not envious. Love does not brag, it is not puffed up it is not rude, it is not self-serving it is not easily angered or resentful. It is not glad about injustice, but rejoices in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things,endures all things. Love never fails.
7. When it comes to my marriage and my wife fully realizing that she is the most important woman in the world to me and I love her more that words can ever express - I am taking the words of Winston Churchill

NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER - give up

These are just a few of the things that I say to myself -everyday.

Peace brother, have hope - stay the course - fight - be strong - if you quit - you will never win. You deserve both grace and abundance in your life - you can do it.