Islander, Im sitting here reading your posts and feeling what you are going thru. It is hell. It takes everything i have to get up and start the day. My H left in 12/10 stating he was unhappy and things werent fixable but then i later found out the was an OW. He said that had no bearing in his decision in leaving. I say cr@p to that. Ive had very little contact with him in fact he filed papers about a week ago. He currently is visiting this OW in a different city where she lives. I want so much to hate him and to be able to tell him i hope his life is miserable, etc. but the truth is i love him dearly and have forgiven him for his decision. He just doesnt seem to care what i say. I am trying the LRT but really dont see any signs of improvement. I was so angry when i found out he was visiting her now that i sent a not so nice text message to him. Im sure by reading that he wants to stay longer on his visit. This is so hard as you know. We've been M for 29yr. I guess he just had enough of what he calls unhappiness. I back and forth between TRYING to be so mad at him and not wanting him back in my life to how i wish he'd walk thru the door. The disadvantage i think i have is that he filed papers. To me thats like almost nailing the coffin shut. Im with you when you say you know what you want. I agree. I just dont feel my chances are there. Especially when hes visiting the person he says he can be so nice to. I keep thinking he'll come to his senses but the longer he is gone i think the chances of that diminish. He has lost his children, who want nothing to do with him,(their decision), his other family members. He has basically no one except ow and a friend. Anyway hang it there. Im sure i will be getting a "response" to the not so pleasant text i sent him the other day. Take care.
