I have a questions for you though and i am not asking to stir up Sht. Do you ever focus on the OM when you are with her? Are you able to get him out of your head and if that is the case, what is the technique you are using?
Ummm... yes. Unfortunately. I find myself talking and laughing with my W and/or other people in the room, and then I will just have a horrible thought go through my head out of the blue.
I feel white hot anger... and then, for whatever reason, I've been able to do something that I have never been capable in the past, I put the thought out of my head, and calm myself down really quickly.
I think that the main thing is that I'm learning to quickly go through everything that I have processed here in my head during those moments. 1) How sitch got to this point, 2) my high level of blame, 3) fact that my W would never have done this but for me being 'absent H', 4) How lucky that I am that I seem to be getting another chance.
There's probably more to that, but the point is that I am consciously going through a mini process in my head to get those bad thought to go away.
And, it is working. Plus, it has happened less and less frequently over the course of the week. So that's encouraging.
BITS Denver
P.S. Not stirring up sh!t 9... I've poured my heart and soul out on this board... why stop now!
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
