Shine on you crazy diamond II

[Redo]

You know what is the most sad part of it all. I know what is going on right now and I can't stop it. Do you want to know what is going on? I will tell you. Right now, she is either pissed that I have gone dark because my lack of communication was always a problem, or she is through with the M. Either way, there is not much I can do about this at this point. Yea, I have gone dark. What has that done? Well, she has too. I am damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Part of the reason why I continue to push the BITS is that I see hope so many of their sitch's. But I see none in mine. Yea, yea, I can hear Gritter now, "Is this the hill you are going to die on?" Yes, maybe it is. I just don't think you guys and gals realize what a mess I created here. She left once before, I promised change and then delivered nothing. She is dead inside and I killed it. No doubt.
FOBD

Hey FOBD, i don't know your sitch fully, but I have reading your posts regularly and man what you said above resembles mine.

We have a 3 year old daughter. My W left for 6 months in 2009 because she could not deal with my issues any more. I tried some improvement. She came back in '09. Now she's gone permanently serving me the divorce papers and trying to fast track it to completion by this month's end. She's least interested in talking to me. She's the one who is mostly dark on me. I cannot talk to my daughter a lot because i quickly break down and start crying. So i try not to talk to my daughter that much. I hate it, but right now thats how it is gonna be.

The reason i am telling you this is so that you dont feel that you are alone in this man. I guess all of us here are just in slightly different boats, but in the same bloody rough sea. But you have to believe that this storm too shall pass and you will reach shore. I know that this weekend has been horrible for me too. But i am trying build and keep the faith in myself that i can turn my W around, albeit slowly. You gotta believe that for now. Take care.