I agreed to go to a Salsa dance convention in Chicago with my W this weekend. The last time I went to one was in 2006. I was reluctant to go, as Salsa is a lively dance where musicality is emphasized over technique. Musicality and using my body with the music is an area I need to grow into.
The first night and day of the trip went well--dinner at an Italian restaurant, a full day of workshops. I bought a new pair of Latin shoes, which is an upgrade from what I have. I stayed up until 2AM listening to a very popular Salsa band from Columbia.
The trip began to unravel the next day, our travel day home. At her request, I bought my W breakfast at Mcdonald's. I'm used to her sleeping in till noon. She wanted me to wake her up for it. I made the mistake of letting her sleep in. She was also upset that I wasn't packed. I didn't want to make noise while she slept. She also was upset that we drove most of the trip home in the dark, when she's not able to read.
She was quite unpleasant on the way home--picking at everything that went wrong and making comments again about how she's envious of other spouses who make more money. She called her mother on the phone and was complaining to her. I lost my temper at that point. It was a long trip home.
I'm disappointed that the trip ended the way it did. I don't understand what happened. Is this really over an egg McMuffin? When my W speaks, I hear blaming and how I've failed her.
I will listen to what she has to say today, and will try to put more emphasis on listening than defending myself. I will not hide from her today, but be willing to process the weekend's events with her. I will privately and in conversation accept how I contributed to the miscommunication, and not insist that she do so likewise.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
