Thank you so much in taking the time to do the above, i will read it over and over. Havnt posted as been a real roller coaster, she is staying this week at my daughters, she did plan on coming here for 3 days but although i am not sure why she backed out, i think eldest daughter complained that she had made arrangements already so my wife felt abliged to stay there for the full week. I stayed dark and desperatly tried to stop contact even to the point of asking for some space of my own, she flipped, rang the home phone, then my mobile, she cryed on the phone, she calmed down and said perhaps she should try and let go of me. She has text today asking for a day here and take the kids out, i had previously said i would like to take them while they were here, she said she wanted to come along, then another text saying she wants to come to the house to see me and the animals rather than just spend time out. Ok thats nice, so i said will collect her in the evening from my daughters bring her her she can then stay the night and we do cinema next day, that way i thought it would better, then another text...if you pick me up in the afternoon instead of the evening i can cook a nice meal, so i pull back, she pulls also but a little the other way, shes keeping me on a thread i think, if i try to distance she pulls me in, so hard to go dark, i feel like going really dark as i think although the pain will hurt so very much it just might help in the long run, then again i guess it could backfire and help her let go of me, what on earth shall i do. How can you go really dark to give them that extra space to sort things through when they wont let you, or if i try she gets upset, she fires back with i will learn to let go of you then if thats what you want, see i dont really want her to let go of me completly i just want her to have more space from me to think things through for herself, not kick me into touch, seems a fine line here, its nice she wants to see me, nice she wants to cook me a nice meal, what isnt nice is she wants this divorce. So complicated all this....kevc
