Bolt tunring again

[Bolt]

but you know what?
Something I kinda held back a little because I didn't want to believe it.

She wasn't there when I was doing this. I mean, physically, yes but emotionally, she was gone.

I think it honestly may be too late and I'm fooling myself into believing otherwise.

I'm actually believing her when she is saying that she isn't in love with me anymore and believing it will never happen again.

Now I KNOW I'm going against everything I'm saying to everyone and maybe just my same old vulnerable self but she freakin slept downstairs last night.

She couldn't sleep and ended up on the couch.

You know what is funny? Normally, it would tear me up. Right now, I'm really a little indifferent. I kinda don't care.

The only thing that is bugging me now is how to afford 2 different places/and all that stuff. Right now it isn't possible.

We'll just see how it goes.

Surprisingly, I'm not depressed about it. I'm unhappy and a little sad but not as bad as I was earlier. Who's becoming numb now?

Sorry to let you guys down and sorry that I don't have as much fortitude as I would like...

BUT I know that I liked being the person I am. I liked not worrying about the R and focusing on myself. That crap is way too draining and not worth doing on someone who doesn't give an effort.

Plus, like FOBD says, BITS never walk alone