my h spent the day with my s (who does not really know we are separated, as my h is away alot of the time anyway) when he took him home tonight and then left, my s got very upset after much coddling, he finally told me he was sad because his dad was not spending the night with us i let him call my h (i was in a panic because i have never seen my s like this) and i heard him tell my h that it is ok to be away when he plays a rock show, but if he is in the same state, he should be with us my h asked if he could pic s up and take him to the mall i said yes s calmed down h called from the mall and said they had a talk (my s is a very young 8) he explained that we were separated and told him that sometimes mommies and daddies use this time to see if they wanted to stay married or get a divorce he said s took it very gracefully and actually leaned across the table to pat my h's hand he said he didn't mean to tell him, but he felt the time was right and had a feeling he should i think he used his judgement and did a good job when he took him home, my s was in a much better mood h gave me a big hug when he said goodnight and that he would see us in the morning i guess there is nothing to decipher from this, i just wanted to share i feel a little better, as he probably knew more than we thought and at least he is not wondering or expecting anymore just sort of numbish tonight but had a blast making some new friends today..so there was that goodnight
Grr.. my heart goes out to you. Good for your H to step up to the plate and explain the situation to your little man. Glad to see him give some compassion when he got back home. Take care of yourself.
Me - 33 W - 33 S - 9 months M - 3 years T - 5.5 years Bomb - 12/14/10 ILYBNILWY PA discovered - 1/18/11 PA began - 3/22/10 Separated
Grr, Hang in there, sweetie. I think your H did a valiant thing tonight. Your S needs to be the priority of you and your H. I am so sorry that this is where you are tonight. If I could make a wish and save all my BITS, I would do it. Please keep coming here. We will hold hands and walk together. Some of us will drop off along the way, but that shouldn't dampen our resolve. Good night, Grr. I wish you a good night!
FOBD
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
afternoon everyone slept fairly well last night yay for me so did my s h is coming over to give me the car i am going to drive him to his studio and then leave him for the day after i pick him up tonight, he will have dinner with us before heading back to his brothers am i being too available? or do i take the opportunities when i see him, to have pleasant conversations, look hot (for you denver) and the like? this stuff is confusing
I don't know grr... are you his 'driver' or his 'wife'?
I think that you are being too available for someone who says that he doesn't want to be M'd to you...
You have plenty of opportunity to look 'hot' for him and have pleasant conversations when he is around being a dad to his S.
I wouldn't make his life so easy. He wants D... let him see what its going to be like if he does it!
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
i agree with you denver but fact is, here in az, we only have 1 car so we have to share i guess we are seeing each other too much we are together much of the day i still shop for him, make lunch for him sometimes we are getting along so well these days because we are both paying attention but he sees me as a friend, would be my guess and really, if you knew me before this happened you would be shocked that i would want to stay with someone who does not want me
and have pleasant conversations when he is around being a dad to his S.