Divorce or Hope?

[ninelives]

She was at our sons hockey game today and I coach it. Usually I dont look at her in the stands but today I did alot. She has lost a tonn of weight but is now looking a little haggard. She is still beautiful but for the first time, I looked at her at felt a little more sorry for her. Dont get me wrong, im still pissed at what she has done to our family but I believe that she is suffering alot.

She has this fake smile on and was cheering at times when it was not appropriate. I think she is on the boarder of being out of it most of the time. She was also chewing her gum frankly like a cow. She is not in a good place and I wonder if this will get worse for her.

I fully expect her boyfriend to move in by the end of next month as he is living above a cheap hotel for now but is always over there. She introduced him to our one son and he seemed out of sorts a little today at the game.

Our older son has little to do with her and she asked him to stay over night but he refused. I know this bothers her but not enought to stop doing what she is doing. She has basically traded our 15 year old in for a scumbag. I mentioned that to her once and she said it was my fault that her relationship with s15 is fractured because i could not lower my voice when i found out about OM via texts I found on her blackberry.

ITs a long story.

Good news is that she is ready to sign papers on legal sep ASAP where I am getting a fair settlement.

I still have a glimmer of hope of recon. but I am very cautious as I feel she really thinks she loves OM for some reason despite the long road they have ahead of them.