Newbie post What to do now

[JustStunned]

Well, W visit was strange; we haven’t seen each other in two weeks. I know many of you are separated by greater distances and longer times. I was expecting more of the manic gotta clean, gotta clean, I hate you, I am so much happier since I’ve run away from you. This was different.

W called twice to verify I’d be home and her visit would be ok. She came in, I held the puppy back until she had her coat off came into the house proper and seemed composed. The puppy greeted her warmly. She brought him a toy, commented how much he’s grown, and showered him with affection. She really misses him. He has been a surrogate child.

Mostly we talked about her new job and its challenges. I was able to validate a little bit about the stress of starting a new job, learning new people. She asked about the archery league. I told her about it briefly and asked more open ended questions about her. It was all small talk. She noticed I have removed couple/wedding related items from display, but did not comment. I removed them because they were depressing me. They are wrapped and boxed against the day we wish to display them again.

We went into the basement and looked around. We discussed what is left to organize and clean. She is still under the impression the house will remain to be a storage location, and I will maintain it as such. She wants to conduct an inventory of all of the house hold items and begin the process of dividing them. I told her I was not ready to do so today and left it open ended. She told me this is what the Divorce for Dummies book, website and her L have suggested as the next step. “Divorce for Dummies” if I wasn’t living this I’d think that part was from a sitcom.

She left saying she would visit my mom on the way home. That could get ugly. I pray it does not.

I did not achieve my goal of working on something tangible with her while keeping the interaction pleasant. Certainly we were pleasant, but I don’t think W feels a sense of accomplishment. I do, she asked about something I am doing, expressing an interest in me. Baby steps.