Juststunned, gengypsy, and grr, thank you so much for the feed back. i truly appreciate it. Last thursday i saw Michele give a lecture in woodstock. it was so great. I thought i was having a pretty good day until i learned by H had flown to see the OW in a different city and will be there for 5 days. I am devastated. I have been trying to follow all the db steps especially the LRT and have been working with Joann a DB coach but i found on thursday i probably blew any progress. I was so angry when i found out he had gone to visit her. I left him a text message saying he could have his D and i described everything i wanted from it. I told him i hope he had a great time with his homewrecker, and yada yada yada. I know this wanst the right thing to do but i was so mad. The things is i havent been mad at the situation or him since this has happened. It was a new feeling i displayed. Did I ruin things? I just cant believe he goes to be with her? I do not talk to the kids thru him. In fact the kids want nothing to do with him and thats their opinion because they are grown adults. In fact i am his biggest allie to the kids which makes them mad cuz they think i sticking up for him. I had dinner last night with his sister and she thinks the best thing for me is to move on with my life without him. I thru therapy have learned that my H has some deep problems. Definitely an addiction to porn which i am trying to grasp. That he is narcisstic which explains his entitlement and his never doing anything wrong belief he has. i want so much to try and salvage what is there but how do i do it alone? he wont go to counselling. All i know is these days are so rough. i want to stop crying and maybe have a happy smiling day. My kids told me they want their old mom back, the strong, caring, funny mom they havent seen in months. So how do i correct my wrong behavior i did earlier when i sent him that text about giving him the D asap. Thank you all so much. () () () () to all of you.
