H takes all the blame - why?

[AntoniaB]

Angel, my XH seemed to do this 2 weeks ago. When I finally told him I was ready to be detached and didn't want to know any more about his life, where he was moving, if he was moving in with the OW, or anything else, and that I wanted to say I loved him but being connected to him opened fresh wounds for me so I was saying goodbye, I got back a very tear-filled (he said he was crying at the time) email where he wrote a whole paragraph about how he was taking FULL RESPONSIBILITY for the failure of the marriage, how I was wonderful, how it was all his fault, blah blah blah. I felt sorry for him. I wanted to hold him and say "it will be ok, I can handle all this pain, but I don't want you to be in pain."

Guess what? That same man yesterday sent me an email saying that karma could go to hell right along with him if it "decided" he did something "wrong" because he was "only being true to himself" when he had the affair and divorced me.

I would add to what punkin says above and say that pinball works with the XH or STBXH too.

Now my X is in angry, spiteful, defiant mood, treating me again like I'm the enemby. 2 weeks ago, sad and pitiful to the point where I was ready to say that everything he did was "ok" because I didn't want to see him hurting.

Know what my psychiatrist says? That my XH is playing out a drama where he is the victim, where we must all feel sorry for him because he was "just doing what he HAD to do", and that this makes him a HUGE manipulator and that for my own sanity and peace, I need to stay away from him. If he grows up and stops this bs, then maybe I can be in contact, but if not, he's taking me for a ride.

I wonder if your situation is at all similar?