E.T. phoned home!!!

[Augtan]

GF,

I am so sorry!! I just got back on here after a really rough week at work!

Wow, I totally understand what you are going through, although my XH hasn't been like that with the kids (at least not to that extreme), most of the other stuff is very similar. XH let our gorgeous house go to "short sale" and has runied all our credit too. He has lied, lied, lied and lied some more. I have said to numerous people that I had no idea someone who once loved me like he loved me could look me in the eyes and lies that much about soooo many things. It is beyond nuts. He still lies to me and I will never understand it.

XH barley talked to his family and my D11 has never even met one member of that side of her family, the other two kids don't remember them at all. Since our D, he hasn't really gone running back to them, cause they aren't that type, but he has gone to see them twice...so I get that too. They aren't bad people, just not real family oriented and didn't like me. I was the "spoiled little rich girl, with the famous father". They are from a tiny town in a farm state, very rurel living. Just completely opposite from my life, and he was attracted to me for those reasons, he is a narcissist and that is how they roll. But, that is off the subject..

I am just so sorry for your D14, I have had some pretty ugly conversations with my D18, she is very difficult at times and so judgemental of how I deal with D11 who has ADHD and ODD which makes living with D11 miserable at times. But, I have never blocked her or been that awful to her. Last night, we had a huge argument because when she was living with XH she felt I put her in the middle between XH and me, and I admit at times I did, but not for the reasons she thinks. Anyway, it would be so easy for me to just kick her out and send her back to her Dad's or whatever, but that is not what parents do...period. Your H is out of control and you are right for removing him from you and D14's life right now. Hearing such horrible things can do damage to D14 and it is your job to protect her. I get very upset with the people on here and around me who say that at all costs you shouldn't interfere with the relationship between the parent and child, but when the so called "parent" isn't being a parent and is hurting your child even if only emotionally..imo..it is your duty as the "sane" parent to protect your child(ren).

Hang in there, I am sending prayer and hugs to you!! I so wish there was a way for me to give you my private email address and really don't understand why if I want to do that I can't...I know people on here have found a way to meet up and stuff...how they do that I don't understand, and I think that would be a positive thing about this site, being able to continue friendships and such in the "real world" away from here if they so desire.
((Goodfight)) (((Goodfight's D14)))

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