2step - dude, I like where this is going. You guys are reconnecting and she is curious. GREAT move avoiding the R talk. It's tough, isn't it?
What I try (emphasis on try) to do in those situations is remember the times when we would talk when we didn't have this cloud of separation around us. I wouldn't even think of asking some of the things I either do (when I'm not DBing) or think of.
If I keep that perspective, it goes back into simply letting it happen mode. That takes the pressure off her and lets her open up as well. NOW the thing that you have to do DIFFERENT is use the love language that she is accustomed to. Say things like, you sound happy or reiterate that she's funny or clever or smart.
You would be complimentary but not smothering...(something I'm learning about as well...)
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
That is excellent advice and as always I appreciate your feeback. I had my session with the DB coach this morning and I will be posting it on my new thread. I can't believe I am starting a new one!!
Her love language is Words of Affirmation with a secondary of Physical Touch.
I can't do the physical touch for obvious reasons but I have been working very hard on words of affirmation.
This does not come natural to me but I will report that practice makes perfect.
Last two days I have been a little absent from the boards only posting when people appear to be in dire straits but as soon as I come back from D piano I will catch up with all the BITS
dude, seriously - here's what I've learned about speaking the spouse's love language. The more you consciously do it, the better you get at it therefor the more SUBconsciously to it.
Heck, I've even done it unconsciously. I just hope that was my W.
DOH!
m 40 w 38 married 15 together 18 d11, d8 bomb 12/19/10 2nd bomb 3/30/11 COMPLETELY DONE
