After initiating no contact with wife, I noticed in her last messages signs that she is slowly turning.
- she showed interest in my plans, and the things that I am doing
- she asked questions about what I'd done, where I'd been and who I had gone out with
- she showed real emotion and concern when my ATM card was forged (a less attached person would not have shown the same response)
- she complimented me again
- she talked and talked and talked for 45 minutes about nothing while I just sat and listened.
- she showed concern for things that I had mentioned were in my mind. GREAT DBing on my part just trusting and allowing her to bring up the issues whenever she is ready.
- came to again in crises about her daughter.
All this is brilliant and certain progress, with only the slightest, tiniest tinge of gray. First, the impossibly studly guy who is chatting her up on Facebook who she is welcoming to come and visit.
In terms of body type and physical attractiveness, there is simply no way I can compete with him. But I am learning to be okay with that and have greater love, respect and appreciation for who I am. I know the choice is up to her and I know I would (eventually) be okay with her choosing someone she feels more passionate with than me.
It would hurt beyond belief, but I know I could be happy for her.
The second thing is I made the mistake of showing her one of my cards and actually telling her part of my strategy. After our last telephone conversation, which was really good because of how much I listened and respected her, I made the small mistake of telling her I would wait until she contacted me before I spoke to her again.
No reason I should have done that, so later on I smoothed it out by initiating another light conversation with her.
Another "good" thing is that she is having ongoing challenges with her 14 year old daughter, and in this area my wife knows my support is always available to her if she wants it. When I offered her my help with D14s latest drama, my wife said:
"Not sure yet, thanks for the offer though."
Feeling good today about where she and I are at. A long way from where we need to be, but there is certainly evidence she is coming back around to me.
Patience. Patience. Patience.
Don't initiate.
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
