It's me that's cycling!

[Sanderika]

Hi Cas,

Thank you for thinking about me. I think about you, too! (a lot)

In reality I feel we are all concerned and thinking about each other very often as we try to figure out our lives and each others along the way. It seems like we are all closer than being a family as this is the only place where our feelings are shared and understood. We can be real and honest here and while we may earn an occasional 2 x 4 it is with good intentions and we are not ostracized for wanting our marriages reconciled.

I have been MIA because I got a new job and it has been difficult to learn. I am now working 3 jobs and am beat at the end of the day and the AM comes way to early.

I have taken a few minutes this week to follow along and have read through all your recent posts.

I still have the thought that your H will very soon realize moving OW & SON in will have been a very bad idea.

OW - forced H to let her and son move in by begging and making promises H could live with. She has no intent in following through once on the inside and she thinks he is no longer paying attention.

OW - IS going to become demanding like never before. She has no money so certainly will beg, plead and insist that H help her/them.

OW - IS going to demand to know of his whereabouts and any contact with your daughter thus she will become aggressive/controlling and confrontational towards those visits because they will involve seeing you.

OW - IS going to demand that H be communicative with her son and start doing for him.

OW - motives for moving in ARE very different from what H thinks. He will wake up and realize that she was only looking for a meal ticket and a free ride. I can place a bet that from now on she won't even try and find suitable income or a new place.

H - might already be thinking. True colors are already being seen.

Cas, today your H came inside to peek. He wanted to see what he's missing. Sure he could have sat in the car, daughter probably already knew he was there. He didn't. I have the thought he was hoping to see you. He was earlier than planned on purpose. He had it all planned out. He was hoping to have a nice interaction with you.

If I were you, I would look like I am great. I'm great, home is great, it's all "a bed of roses" (for real) right here with daughter and I and in this home. A place of refuge and peace. A place where love is unconditional. A place where one can receive all the nurturing they need. A place one would be crazy not to want to live in.

I practice this right here every day.

I cook up yummies and have them available all the time, when ever H stops by he is well received and I am ready to offer sustenance and H feels good, really good.

Last Saturday, H popped by to help son fix his snowmobile. I was upstairs in my bathroom getting ready for my day. I stayed upstairs longer than planned on purpose. I listened for 20 minutes while H and son bantered back and forth. While I was upstairs my bedroom door was left open on purpose and the door to my bathroom was also left open. H came upstairs and came right into my bathroom and chatted with me while I did my hair.
I also had some yummy breakfast stuff and he stayed right through lunch and I had a yummy homemade Italian Meat Sauce which I served over pasta, H had two plate fulls!!!!! He left feeling goooooood!!!!

My point Cas, I have made it possible for H to feel very comfortable again in this house and with me and son and while it is a painfully slow process, my methods/treatment towards H "might" be working. I say this with caution because I want no expectations.

You don't have to make contact with him, but show him he is accepted and welcome when he pokes his head out. In the past when he has done this it's YOU he seeks out, don't disappoint him.

You and H have a common interest in good food, I've always thought that this was a way to create interaction between the two of you. Next driving day, come up with something he can't resist. Make him seek out you/your home as a refuge...he's going to need one really bad.

Cas, I understand you so well. As hard as we try we cannot give up. I know what you want. I am praying that you will blessed and receive. H isn't ready to give up either.

Wondering what happened when H brought daughter back home?

Cas, thinking of you all the time (((((hugs)))))

Sanderika