I will not file, unless I have to at some point to protect myself. And he will not run over me during D/settlement if if comes to that.
He hasn't totally shut the door on R - are you saying I still step back and do nothing? This is the first we've talked R in several months. If he is set on D, what harm is there in my bringing it up? If he won't, he won't.
I'm not sure he is MLC, so not sure how deep the fog might be. He still didn't share last night what is "wrong" with me as far as our M is concerned. I really want/need to know that for my benefit, now or for down the road.
He said again last night that there isn't anyone else. I know he talks and texts OW - EA? Beyond that? He's never seen his friendships w OW as EAs. I know that isn't healthy for a marriage, and I know that would have to change before/during R.
Somewhere along the line; it is made clear that they don't get off the hook or out of the marriage that easily.
Now, that last sounded controlling; but the LBS at times such as these, IS called upon to deal out consequences in regards to a MLC'er who wants a divorce; but doesn't want to take responsibility...they want a "free ticket" to a new life; and this is NOT to be.
HB, what are you referring to here?
Quote: Funny, but as I was talking to him, I thought that however this goes, I'll be all right. There are too many things I see in him right now that bother me. But he still doesn't seem to be himself. He even said, why would you want to be married to me? Why wouldn't you find someone to make you happy?
That last is his guilt talking; and if you went and found someone else; as he's suggesting, just as he thinks he's gone and done; it would alleviate his guilt; because then, he gets to further blame you for his weakness, and his problem.
Maybe, but it could also be his self esteem issues. He has had to change jobs - no fault of his - and I know he saw that as a failure. I didn't, he did. In fact, I told him how proud I was of him for trying something else. Now I think he feels backed into a corner. He's trained for the this last job, something he thought he always wanted to do, and now he's not so happy with it. I'm sure he thinks he'd lose face if he walked away from it. I'm sure he's thought about it, because he told me he's saving his comp time to use if he finds something else, or wants to use it as he looks for another job. A third party has told me H isn't happy in his job, and H told me himself that before he moved out.
He asked me yesterday why I would want him back - I didn't say ILY bec we've been told not to all this time. Does this still apply here? Again, what do I have to lose?
I didn't record all of the convo here - some comes back to me in pieces. I think there is a chance for R, slight though it might be, based on all the discussion yesterday. I want to make the best use of this crack in the door before it slams shut. Yes, I know, just because he files it doesn't mean there's no hope, but . . .
Mom is doing much better. She is stabilizing, and should be moving back to the nursing home next week. Last night she asked, "Where is my (my dad's name)?" Her unconditional love for him is so wonderful. I told her he was resting, I just didn't tell her he's resting with Jesus.
I'm headed back to care for her today, and relieve my brother who has been there all night. Sometimes she needs calming; she can rip out those IVs and monitors in a blink of an eye.
