Talked with my W on and off all day. She told me to call her when I got home from the office. Gave her the call when I got home and changed. Asked her if she wanted to have a drink. She came over and had a drink with me. Then we decided to go to get some food. I took her to her fav place for buffalo wings and beer.
Ended up spending abuot 6 hours with W. For the most part it was great! I did take a beating for about an hour and a half when she began to talk R. She went on quite a bit about all of the things that I didn't give her emotionally during R/M and how I hurt her... made her feel badly about herself. It was tough to hear. I also heard more about OM in relation to this. Basically how he made her feel that she "wasn't so hard to love" That hurt the worst.
I listened, listened, listened and validated. Finally, however, I just had to tell her that she was repeatedly stabbing me in the heart. I said it in a joking and jovial way, but she said that she understood. I also told her though that I thought it was important that we talk about all of what she was saying.
She also told me that she is still very leery to trust my changes. She told me that I have told her that I would change so many times that she is unsure. That every time we would fight and she would confide in friends... then when we'd fix things, that she'd tell her friends that I had promised to change. She said that it's going to be somewhat embarrassing for her to tell her friends, yet again, that I have promised to change. Especially since she actually took the step of leaving me and moving out.
All I could do was listen some more and tell her that I understood.
She did tell me that the part of her that is believing my changes are real is coming from a change in the 'energy' she is feeling from me. She says that this is different.
I told her how excited I was to show her that my changes were real and how motivated I was to make her fall completely and utterly in love with me again. I looked her straight in the eyes when I said this. I saw that she got a bit emotional when I did this.
The rest of the night was spent talking and laughing about things. Overall, it was a really good night.
BITS Denver
M 43 X 38 T 13 W moves out of home 11/2010 Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012 I request divorce 5/2012 W moves home 6/2012 Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015 I leave 3/2016 process of divorce
