Quote:

I guess the problem is I feel the need to keep punishing myself in an attempt to make sure it never happens again.

And if someone else I knew and loved were doing that, I'd tell them, you've obviously learned the lesson, forgive yourself and move on...you are only hurting yourself by hanging onto this.

This just doesn't sit right with me.

Any ideas?

Ya know, I too at first, had struggled internally in feeling I need to "punish" myself for what I had done so I won't repeat my mistakes. What seems to heal my spirit more is to turn my daily mantra "...to make each day better than the one before" into an act of atonement for the prior indiscretions. So if I have a good day at being a better person, then I feel I have given myself a dose of daily forgiveness and I expect I'll be forgiving myself for the rest of my remaining days. So by working to forgive myself each day, I do not fear repeating the errs of my previous ways.

... and since it more likey you'll be reading this in the morning ...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! ... and may all your Birthday wishes come true!

'til later,
KAW