How about if you look at it as as long as you don't forgive yourself a part of you remains stuck in the pain? Do you want pain in your life? No, you want JOY!!!
I feel like my not forgiving myself for my D from my first H caused a lot of grief for me in this marriage. I believe it contributed to my general depressed attitude, the lack of self forgiveness, kept me stuck in the past and not living in and for my present.
What if you look yourself in the mirror and say PIB, I forgive you for what you have done because at the time you did it you didn't know any better or realize what you were doing. Now you have learned from it. Or as Sage says, you are ready the teacher of your situation appeared and has shown you the error of your ways and you have amended them. If you can't go back and change it, then you need to forgive, not forget and move forward with the knowledge you gained. Just a Sunny thought for this dreary rainy day! PIB You Are Forgiven!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
