Wife of 6-years Wants a Divorce - pt 2

[sandi2]

So am I being a husband or a friend to my wife? I keep hearing both sides of the coin in this forum.

It's strange to me that back in high school years whenever I broke up with a guy and told him I just wanted us to be friends....he had no problem at all knowing what that meant. And here's the thing....the guys were NEVER happy about it! I might as well have told them the other option....which was "I think of you as a brother"! Ha, that never went over well.

Bottom line here men, is don't be your W's girlfriend! I bet she wasn't looking for a best girlfriend when she chose you, now did she?

Some people, (my H for one) had no intention of taking second place to being a H. He said that we weren't going in on the buddy-buddy system and we would be H & W.

It's kind of like being friends with your kids (when they are growing up). They can have lots of friends, but they need you for a parent. That's not to say that you cannot be friend-ly and have a loving R with them.....but if you resign from the high place of parenthood to accept the position of friend...then your child will lose such a critical need in his/her life. That need is to have a parent.

I tend to look at M like that. I do see what DB is saying about being a friend and I won't argue with that, but at the same time.....your W "needs" that important role of a H filled by you. Her R with her H is completely different than those of her other friends. That's not to say H & W cannot be friend-ly and loving with each other.

In cases of S or D, then being a friend may be the only option left. When things are so raw between a couple, then even friendship seems out of the question. If they can find their way back to kind of "liking" each other enough to throw the friend word in there....that's sure better than hating one another forever. But if you're going to live with her....just make sure she doesn't confuse you with one of her girlfriends.